Everything Has Changed
by endlesssummerdays
Summary: This is my first attempt at fan fiction, but I've fallen in love with Paige and Emily's story so much! This takes place at the time of Paige's 'rain apology' in season one and my slight re-interpretation of what could have followed. Thank you so much for taking the time to read.
1. Chapter 1

Emily awoke suddenly, her hand instinctively reaching out to hit the snooze option on her phone alarm. She felt groggy and a little disoriented, however the action was enough to remind her of the important team swim she had ahead that day. More than that, it triggered a memory of the previous night. Had she been dreaming? It all seemed so surreal now in the light of day, but nevertheless her body's weariness was proof enough that she'd been awake half the night, playing the preceding events over and over in her mind.

Hauling her body mercilessly out of bed before the warm duvet had its opportunity to seduce, she peered through the blinds to reveal blue skies and sunshine, doubt again arising as to whether she had dreamt the whole episode. Yet the remaining dampness of the lawn confirmed the heavy rain and thunderstorm that had taken place throughout the night. It had in fact, she recalled, begun to rain not long after she'd gone to bed. It had been one of those nights when the mere subconscious pressure of hoping for a full and peaceful night's rest before today's swim, had induced the detrimental and exact opposite effect of sleep evading her. Eventually, as she had finally begun to drift off, a clap of thunder accompanied by the heavy onslaught of rain pounding the streets outside had abruptly roused her once again and as her eyes re-adjusted, she noticed the light from her phone and the subtle buzzing of its vibration on her bedside table.

Reaching out, she had anticipated a text from Hanna, Spencer or Aria, but held her breath, knowing it could as easily be from A. She had stared at the screen for a few moments, fully un-predicting of the sender's name displayed. Paige McCullers.

Her eyebrows furrowed in bemusement, she read the text:

"I'm at your front door. Please can I talk to you?"

It was 1.26am. What on earth could Paige McCullers be doing here. Confused, Emily had acted on instinct rather than with caution and had crept quickly downstairs to the front door, opening it to reveal Paige standing on the porch. Emily had felt shock at the sight of the red-haired girl, soaked to the bone, wearing only a light t-shirt and trousers which now drenched, clung to her like a second skin; her hair plastered down, sending waterfalls over her face, water pouring off every inch of her exposed chest and arms, as though she were standing in the showers after swim practice.

"Paige…"

Emily couldn't hide the shock in her voice, but remembering their recent history, held back slightly before asking "Are you okay?" She was unsure what this girl who had been becoming increasingly hostile- aggressive even- to Emily, was here to do.

Yet something in the girl's stance, before she'd even uttered a word, told Emily that she wasn't here to cause trouble. Something in the way she held her body, so compliantly in the cold, unrelenting rain, made Emily's defenses drop.

"No…" Paige had answered to her question.

_She isn't okay_, Emily repeated somewhere in her mind, her instincts reacting and pushing her a step further beyond the doorway, toward the girl.

"What happened?" she asked, her words wrought with concern.

Paige had continued,

"You have every reason to hate me."

Her words were filled with anguish and though it was hard to tell, Emily was certain she was crying, tears and rivulets of raindrops from her soaking hair conspiring as one.

"I don't even know what I'm doing here."

"I don't hate you" Emily had returned with emphasis and genuine truth. She stepped forward, her sudden instinct to reach out to comfort the girl who stood so openly distressed before her. Yet Paige held her arms so tightly around her chest, like armour, and Emily was caught between the emotion of what was occurring and the cold bluntness of reason, reigning her in. After all, who was this girl? She didn't _know_ Paige - not really. Not beyond the girl's seemingly obsessive drive to win, her serious issues with competition; particularly when that competition was _Emily_. This was a girl who had not long before, been dunking Emily's head under water.

Paige spoke again. "I would…" At that moment something changed in the girl's eyes as she met Emily's, as if to reinforce the truth in what she spoke then:

"I _do_."

The full weight of sadness behind the words and the clear absolute belief in what she spoke made Emily's heart unexpectedly lurch.

"Don't say that." She urged, looking directly back into the other girl's eyes, at which Paige quickly broke the gaze, looking downwards awkwardly for a moment as she continued:

"I'm sorry Emily." reconnecting with Emily's eyes once again to reinforce, "I just wanted you to know that."

Before Emily could process what had been spoken, what had _happened_, Paige returned back into the rainy night, heading towards her bike at the roadside.

"Wait…. Paige" Emily called out, feeling her heart pound against her chest, _Please talk to me_ she wanted to shout. She later chastised herself mentally for not having done so, for having been so dumbfounded in the moment.

Paige didn't stop, perhaps for embarrassment, for fear, for the apprehension of facing Emily's reaction.

Emily watched her speed off into the blurry shimmer of the streetlights in the rain, watched until her eyes lost focus on the now distant silhouette.

She had returned to her bed, stunned and confused, restless and unable to still her thoughts, concerned further that Paige did not respond to calls or texts as hours passed by.

It was all so unexpected, including the emotional reaction Emily was experiencing. Her heart seemed to physically ache to think of the meaning behind Paige's words. There was such resignation in the flame haired girl's eyes as she spoke of hating herself. The desperate longing there for Emily to know she was sorry. In the past she had only ever considered Paige to be consistently angry, but tonight she realised that Paige wasn't angry, she was _afraid_. It was _fear_, not anger, that darkened the girl's eyes.

Sleep had finally found a way to intervene and stall the endless cycle of Emily's thoughts, but here in the light of morning, with the full recollection of events, Emily's mind had gone into overdrive once again. Checking her phone to confirm that Paige had not yet responded, concern and frustration grappled equally for precedence in her mind. Remembering today's race, she consciously re-focused her thinking, trying hard to streamline her attention on preparing for the competition ahead. She would see Paige at the natatorium after all, and they could talk then. Years of swimming had helped her perfect the art of concentrating on the task at hand. It was one of the reasons she loved the sport so much. It allowed her to focus so completely on only the things over which she had control. Before a race she could centre her attention around preparation and know that by the time she was standing by that poolside with the familiar scent of chlorine filling her head and lungs, everything else; everything that was beyond her control; exams, unrequited love, Alison's death, Maya, even _A_, would fall away and finally, upon diving into the water, would disappear completely, leaving only Emily's movement and breath behind.

* * *

Stepping into the shower after her warm-up at the natatorium, the rushing water over her skin recalled the image of a soaked-through Paige standing on Emily's front porch. If Paige wanted to talk, Emily would be there to lend a listening ear, but they still had the relatively awkward matter of choosing anchor for the team race that morning. She had no idea what to expect when seeing Paige again, no idea how Paige would act. She had half-expected to find the red-head already swimming when she arrived and forced her slight concern at the other girl's continuing absence to the back of her mind as she finished up and headed to the showers.

In the locker room most of the team had now arrived and Coach was providing some rallying encouragement: "Morning Sharks, how we all doing today?" awaiting the team's habitual chanting response of "Ready to swim Coach!"

Catching Emily's attention, Coach spoke directly to her:

"There's not going to be a swim off. I just got word that Paige will not be joining us."

"Why not?" Emily queried, the concern that she had squashed down just moments before now rearing again.

"She had an accident while riding her bike last night. She's just a little banged up. She'll be back swimming in no time."

Emily's head began to swirl. She felt dizzy. _Had an accident. _Paige had had an accident last night, while riding her bike_. After_ she'd been at Emily's. Realising the room was now empty as everyone headed for the pool, she quickly grabbed her mobile and fired off a hastily written: "_Please_ let me know you're okay," sending it to Paige before tossing the phone back in her locker and heading out to join the rest of the team, trying to calm her now wildly racing heart.


	2. Chapter 2

Catching sight of her reflection in the bathroom mirror, the red-head sighed. _God, why are you such a god damn idiot. _She touched the freshly acquired butterfly stitch above her left eye, flinching at the pain. Last night all she had wanted to do was to stop the thoughts, stop the feelings for a moment. To _disappear._ Yet all that she had achieved was to draw more attention to herself with _this_. Her eyes darted accusingly to the glaring white stitching covering the bloody, bruised swelling beneath.

Feeling the sting of tears welling, she balled her hands into fists, clenching her jaw tightly. _This is not the time. _Running the cold tap she vigorously splashed the chilled water over her face, gasping at the smarting pain it caused her wound. Opening the bathroom door she heard her dad's voice calling up from the foot of the stairs. "Are you ready yet Paige?" He sounded impatient.

"Just coming Dad" she called back, her voice straining and cracking under the threat of impending tears.

Her dad had felt it important for Paige to show face at the swim race this afternoon to 'display her commitment to the team'. In reality what Nick McCullers wanted was for Paige to keep tabs on the competition; to ensure that Emily Fields wasn't out there outshining his daughter whilst she'd so clumsily dropped the spinning plates for a second and in doing so, gift-wrapped and hand delivered the opportunity to anchor for one of the biggest races of the season.

At this moment in time, as she got in the car, Paige couldn't care less about being anchor. Or about swimming for that matter. For so long it had been one of the few things over which she'd felt control. It was a simple logic. If she trained harder than anyone else on the team, she could be _better_ than anyone else on the team and in turn, this would appease her overbearing father.

Yet this simple logic in which she placed her trust had somehow become defective. She was still training harder than anyone else on the team, harder than she'd ever thought possible; in fact almost every waking minute of her day revolved in some way around honing her physical performance, her stamina, agility, physique. Not to mention her dad's personal favourite: _mental drive_. Yet she wasn't better than everyone else on the team anymore. She wasn't better than Emily Fields. Emily trained hard too, Paige knew this, but not as endlessly, as laboriously as Paige. Emily _had a life_ after all. She had a natural talent however, that was plain to see. She also had good friends, popularity, intelligence and beauty on her side. Paige had pleaded for just this simple logic to prevail, to afford her this one thing, for as long as she worked like a Trojan to maintain it.

Emily Fields wasn't the source of her problems. She saw that now. For long enough however, it felt as though she were the thorn in Paige's side, a feeling certainly spurred by her dad's attitude, but also propelled by her own insecurities. Emily is everything that she could never be. It would be so easy to hate Emily, if she were a typical popular girl - bitchy, self-absorbed – or even pity her, if she were an air-headed bimbo. But Emily Fields is compassionate…warm…and funny. _She has it all._

It's easy to see why someone like Paige would be overcome with jealousy. And yet, it was more than that… felt more _complex_ somehow, than straightforward jealousy. When she watched Emily Fields, it ripped her heart out.

She could just about handle being Paige McCullers on a general day-to-day basis. It wasn't ideal by any means, but she had found ways to suppress the self-loathing, in order to function. Seeing Emily Fields however, seemed only to accentuate her shortcomings, to make her feel so completely inadequate, that it ached somewhere so deep inside. To feel that she'd never even come close to existing on the same plain as Emily, hurt beyond her understanding.

It was these feelings that had led her to lash out at Emily, to have held her head under water like a crazed idiot. She felt nauseated at the memory of her own behavior. She'd never meant to hurt Emily, she'd been possessed by a desperate need to take control over _how _Emily made her feel and had thought for a stupid, insane second she could do so by intimidating the girl, by feeling like she was the one calling the shots.

Her disgust at her own actions only served to fuel her self-hatred and she had lain awake at night since it happened, tormented by the ever-accusing jury in her mind. Until last night of course, when she couldn't bear for a second longer to pass, without telling Emily how ashamed, how _sorry_ she was.

Her dad had pulled up by the school entrance closest to the natatorium now. Paige's stomach lurched. Kissing her briefly on the nose and waving her encouragingly from the car, Mr. McCullers drove off, leaving Paige walking up the stairs to the main doors. For a brief second she considered fleeing off in the opposite direction, walking the streets until her dad returned to pick her up. _Get a grip_ _Paige_. The familiar warm air and smell of chlorine enveloped her senses, reviving her courage. She would have to face this sooner or later.

Hearing hollering and cheering she realised the race must already have started, therefore she could slip in undetected if lucky. Opening the pool room doors, her thoughts were confirmed and no-one heard her entrance over the raucous poolside crowd. Carefully weaving between spectators she picked out a single space left on the front bench. She sat down and having kept her head down low, she now dared to raise it and look up across the pool to where the action was taking place. Anticipating her line of vision, Emily Fields stared directly at Paige. Her breath caught in her chest for a second as they made eye contact long enough for Paige to discern concern in the other girl's eyes. Emily broke their gaze first, having no choice but to keep her eyes on her fellow swimmers, preparing to jump in the water when the moment arrived for her to finish the race.

As Emily stood poised in position, Paige studied the other girl, ready to take mental notes on her technique and strengths, just as her dad had advised. She noticed, not for the first time, how perfectly sculpted the other girl's body was. Paige trained hard to keep her physique as lean and toned as possible and as a result she had an athletic build, but Emily maintained the more womanly, curvaceous aspects of her figure harmoniously with that visible athleticism. And as with everything about Emily, it seemed effortless.

The crowd had picked up volume now, the cheering becoming more frantic as the final laps of the race were nearing. The Sharks were lagging ever so slightly when the penultimate swimmer returned, leaving Emily with a harder task at hand to make up time. Paige watched as Emily dived and moved through the water with astonishing power and fluidity. _Come on Emily._ Gaining quickly on her opponent, she overtook with ease and by this point Paige was on her feet with the rest of the spectators from the front, cheering Emily's name, forgetting entirely her inhibitions and reasons for being on the bench, not in the water. This girl was amazing. She touched the poolside, coming up for air with the crowd going crazy, the team and coaches ecstatic. Emily had earned them the winner's title. Climbing out the pool into the celebratory embrace of her fellow teammates, Emily looked over to find Paige once again in the crowd. Absorbed in the joy of the moment, smiling and still clapping effusively, Paige met Emily's eyes and hoped they conveyed how genuinely happy she was for her. The swimmer smiled back, a smile that Paige had only witnessed as expressed for others, never before for her. She quickly glanced around, looking to source a friend of Emily's, a family member maybe. She looked back across the pool to where Emily still stood by her teammates. Resuming eye contact once more, the warm smile returned upon Emily's face and Paige realised it _was_ for her, nobody else. Seeing Emily Fields in this moment, did not rip her heart out, but made it pound so very fast inside her chest.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for all kind reviews and follows so far, I appreciate them hugely and I truly hope you continue to enjoy the story. I thought I should explain my reasoning behind the title. It's actually lyrics from a song called _Mirrorball_ by Elbow. It's a song about the experience of falling in love and the way you suddenly feel so incredibly alive and see beauty in everything; you feel ten feet taller and capable of anything with the knowledge that person is now in your life. In my mind that's how I imagine Paige and Emily to feel with each other. Yes, I probably should get out more! ;) ****  
**

* * *

Still elated from her part to play in the Sharks' victory that afternoon, Emily felt wholly vindicated in her current trip to the vending machine to appease a chocolate craving. Seven strict days of lean protein, vegetables and fruit were always worth it to enhance performance prior to a big swim, but she had definitely earned this sugary indulgence. Steering her attention off route however, a lone figure inside the pool hall caught her eye. _Paige._

The red-haired girl sat at the pool edge, her tracksuit pants rolled to the knee, her legs dangling to the water below. She held her chin close to her chest, looking downward to the ripples made by her feet. The sunlight played off the pool, creating undulating patterns upon the ceiling and walls. Emily loved its beautiful, calming effect, like a light mobile projecting its hypnotic, dancing shapes all around. Perhaps it was one of the reasons she always felt so safe here.

Walking toward the other girl, she felt her stomach flip at the recollection of last night and her sudden nerves at how to encroach the subject. The other girl seemed tense as she approached, her body language suggesting that she'd rather be alone, but Emily didn't let this deter her, remembering how Paige had smiled encouragingly by the poolside during the race.

"Are you okay?" she asked whilst moving to stand behind the red-head. "You never returned any of my calls."

"I'm fine" Paige replied, not yet turning her head to look at Emily. Continuing to stare ahead of her, she added "It's nothing" whilst raising her hand to touch the stitching above her eye.

A moment passed in silence before Paige finally turned her head and looked up. Feeling the other's girl's eyes suddenly connect with her own, Emily felt taken aback at how much this seemed to destabilise, to disarm her. The same feeling had occurred the night before when Paige had appeared unexpectedly at Emily's door. She had felt surprised at the strength of emotion in the other girl's eyes. _Perhaps_, she thought, _Paige rarely makes eye contact_. In fact, considering this, she realised Paige spent a lot of time shyly averting her eyes from the gaze of others, or maybe just _from Emily_. Perhaps this is what made her direct gaze so…dismantling.

"I didn't know what to say," the red-head explained. She dropped her head and looked away again as she continued, "I was riding home on my bike and totally wiped out."

"What were you thinking about?" Emily asked, hoping she could encourage the girl to open up. She had glimpsed a Paige last night she hadn't previously known, and wanted to know more, beyond the hard-edged façade she seemed to wrestle to maintain.

Paige's expression hardened, the tone of her voice changing as she replied.

"How easy things would be _if_ I wiped out."

Emily sensed anger in the other girl's voice, but knew it wasn't directed at her. Equally, she heard the same resignation in Paige's voice as last night. Lowering herself to sit down at the pool edge, she maintained a reasonable distance between herself and her teammate, still aware of the tenseness with which Paige held her body, not wishing to make her any more uncomfortable.

"You can't mean that Paige…"

The red head looked away from the direction of Emily's intense gaze.

"I'm sorry…" she spoke out to the water. "I don't mean to be melodramatic," she half-laughed, trying to diffuse the attention her previous comment had garnered. Yet Emily didn't miss the break in her voice and stilted laugh at the end, how quickly she turned so all Emily could currently see was the back of her head. Sliding over to close the gap slightly, Emily felt the urge she'd had last night, to reach out. Stretching over she touched her fingers lightly on Paige's arm, speaking gently, "Paige…I" The red-head seemed to start at this minor physical contact. "I want…I _need_ you to know that I don't hate you. I never have. And I accept your apology. If you want to talk about…_anything_ at all, you can talk to me."

Upon this, the girl's shoulders trembled subtly. She slowly turned her head back towards Emily, frantically wiping at her face with her free arm, the arm upon which Emily's fingers weren't resting, before allowing Emily to see her face again.

Despite her best efforts to thwart them, a few defiant tears found their escape, rolling off flushed cheeks.

"My dad, he's…he's very competitively driven. It's not an excuse by any means for how I treated you, I know, but somehow I just let things the better of me, I let them get so…out of control." Pausing to take a deep breath, she went on, "I _never_ meant to hurt you Emily, it was a really messed up thing to do…. _I'm_ messed up."

Her arm now strained from stretching out, Emily closed the remaining gap between herself and Paige, instinctively replacing tentatively placed fingers with the boldness of her whole hand upon the red-head's arm. Unconsciously she traced circles with her fingers on the girl's soft skin. It was a reflexive action born from the wish to comfort her. Almost immediately however, the awareness of this sudden physical connection struck both parties. Raising her eyes towards Emily, once again the sudden intensity of Paige's eye contact caught Emily by surprise. Feeling suddenly hot, she withdrew her hand, somewhat abruptly. _What are you doing_?! _This is Paige McCullers_. Trying to redirect attention she quickly spoke.

"Listen…I think the more you get to know people, the more you realise we're all in some way a little messed up. In fact, at our age, it's probably compulsory." She nodded her head in a mock 'all-knowing' kind of way, before allowing a smile to break across her face when she noticed Paige was smiling. "I think we should put the past behind us. How about we start afresh from here?"

Though the red-head's eyes still glistened from tears, they were transformed by a smile which lit up her whole face. "I'd like that, I really would." Her smile was infectious and Emily grinned back, "It's a deal then."

"Deal" agreed Paige, holding out her hand to shake on it.

Laughing, Emily took her hand and they shook emphatically. Though it was a simple gesture, feeling the touch of the other girl's skin against her own, again induced a flushing of heat through her body. _Oh god, what the hell? _The physical reactions were familiar. She had experienced them before of course, but not… with Paige. She pushed them out of her mind. _Don't be ridiculous_.

Breaking the handshake, she edged away slightly, in a bid to regain perspective. The diminishing sunlight alerted her to the passage of time.

"Paige I'm so sorry, I have to be heading home now."

Attempting to read the emotions in Paige's face, the concern in Emily's eyes must have shown as Paige smiled and tried to assure her, "I'm okay Emily. Honestly. Thank you so much for…this."

"Do you need a ride home?" Emily asked, still uneasy about leaving the girl on her own.

"No, thanks, my dad's coming to pick me up about…" she turned to look at the digital clock on the wall, "now actually!" Pushing herself up rapidly, Paige rose to her feet and offered her hands out to Emily as a hoist.

"Oh…" Emily exclaimed at this unexpected offer of service. Feeling a blush spread across her cheeks, she took both hands and pulled against the weight of the red-head, trying desperately to place the strain upon herself. Rising inelegantly, she couldn't help but laugh at herself whilst Paige politely, but unsuccessfully attempted to stifle her own laughter. Emily realised that until today she had rarely noticed the other girl laugh or smile. _And god, just how beautiful she looks when she does_.

"Emily.." Paige's voice broke into her thoughts as they walked towards the car park. "I was wondering if you'd like to maybe… train together, sometime?"

Emily's head was swirling with a million thoughts. She was certain once home she could inject some reason into them.

"Sure… yes. Of course."

"Okay, great," the other replied, pushing open the natatorium door and holding it for Emily to pass through. "How about tomorrow after school?"

"That sounds good." Emily noticed a stern-looking Nick McCullers behind the wheel of a silver car with its engine running nearby.

"I'll meet you in the locker room at four then?" Paige called as she started off hurriedly towards the waiting vehicle.

"See you then!" Emily confirmed, watching Paige McCullers run off for the second time in two days. If possible, today's encounter had only served to emotionally disorient her further than the last.


	4. Chapter 4

"Paige!" Nick McCullers' voice boomed, finally reaching the far-off location of his daughter's mind. She snapped abruptly back into the reality of the moment, realising she had not heard a single word he had spoken since leaving the school car park.

"Sorry Dad, I umm… I didn't catch that last part?"

"I'm starting to wonder if you banged that head of yours worse than we thought," he suggested with a hint of sarcasm. "You were on another planet there. Should I be worried Paige?"

"I was just thinking about swim stuff Dad, sorry," she replied reassuringly, hoping it would be enough to placate him. Technically speaking, it wasn't a lie. She _had _been thinking about her time spent at the swimming pool today. About swim practice tomorrow. Both just happened to involve Emily.

In many ways she didn't want to question the validity of what had happened between them today; for fear that by putting it under the microscope for close examination she would see her own stupidity, her mistake in allowing herself to be vulnerable. She would see an Emily feeling obliged to be that nice, not sure how to escape an awkward situation, but now regaling her friends with the whole 'bizarre' story of one crackpot Paige McCullers. Her stomach churned at the thought of Emily with Spencer, Aria and Hanna, laughing at her.

And yet even now, re-playing the events in her mind, it all felt… sincere. Emily genuinely did not seem to hold a grudge for Paige's hostility and frankly, moronic behaviour. That alone was testament to the sweetness of her character. And unless she had only been acting to lull Paige into a false sense of security before seeking some form of triumphant revenge, Emily had truly been kind to her. As they had sat side by side at the pool, Paige felt she had glimpsed a vision of what it must be like to exist within Emily Fields' orbit, to have Emily Fields _care_ about you. Under the influence of that pure intoxication she had asked Emily to join her for training tomorrow. _What was I thinking? The poor girl probably wants to get as far away from me as possible after my spectacular Jekyll and Hyde performance of the last few weeks. She'll think of an excuse and text tomorrow. And that's okay. I wouldn't blame her at all. _

Paige sighed and allowed herself to sink into the sudden density of her tiredness as the now night sky cast its soothing neon illuminations across the window, the noise of a current affairs radio station to which her father was listening providing a background, soporific drone. She closed her eyes, thinking about the way Emily had gently touched her arm, had moved closer, and she felt a rush of blood to the head at the memory. At the time, her body had tensed in panic and she was sure Emily must have noticed, perhaps interpreting her body language as once again hostile, yet Paige hadn't tensed at Emily's touch because she wanted her to _stop_, she had tensed because she had absolutely no idea _how_ to respond at the time, she had no idea how her body would react if she just _let_ _it_, that was the truly terrifying part. For a long time she had waged some kind of internal battle over Emily Fields, a conflict of all her senses and emotions whereby she would by default, end up in self-preservation 'shut-down' mode and end up being less like herself around Emily than anyone, which was truly frustrating. Around no-one else did she wage this sensory war, and today had only served to highlight this all the more. She had attributed it to inferiority, she had attributed it to envy. Yet thinking of the other girl's proximity today, her simple touch, and the way it made her feel, a truth she had known for so long, but never truly admitted, surfaced and just briefly, before squashing it down as she always did, she allowed herself to look at it head on; and its clarity was breath-taking.

* * *

Lying on her bed, surrounded by school work, Emily had failed to focus for longer than ten minutes before her energies were redirected to the far less constructive task of staring at her bedroom ceiling, her mind completely distracted by the events of the past two days. How had Paige McCullers come to fill her mind so suddenly? A month ago, they had barely spoken, aside from familiarities during swimming. Now, in that small course of time, Emily had gone from becoming Paige's Public Enemy Number One, to potential friend. Or at least she hoped that they could become friends; it would certainly be a lot easier than how things had been over the last few weeks. Perhaps it was simply because of the strangeness surrounding the circumstances in which she had suddenly found Paige in the midst of her life, but she couldn't put the other girl out of her mind.

Having the time and space now to evaluate her feelings from earlier however, she was sure they could be attributed to the intensity of the situation, the intensity of their strained _relationship, _if she could call it that, over the last few weeks. That was certainly a good word to describe Paige: _intense_. From her head-dunk threat, to her unforeseen, late night appearance at Emily's door in the pouring rain, to the way she spoke about hating herself, about 'wiping out'. What could possibly have led this girl to believe herself to be so utterly abhorrent? To have brought her to the conclusion that somehow things would be easier if she simply didn't exist? Emily felt true sadness at the thought. And she felt involved now somehow. Paige had opened up to her of all people, and she felt it important to ensure the other girl knew that she had heard her, and that she actually cared. With that thought, she felt a sudden need to text Paige, just to check in and see that she was okay, but without doing so too obviously.

_Hi Paige, it's Emily, _she typed, her thumb hovering over the screen_, _contemplating what to write next. _Hope your head's feeling a bit better?_ _Looking forward to swimming with you tomorrow. See you at 4. _She hit 'send' before giving herself any chance to over-analyse. Deciding that she should actually attempt to tackle some of the homework strewn around her, given that a hope for osmosis learning through its proximity alone had never worked in the past, she laid her phone down and opened her books. At that, her phone lit up with an incoming message. _Paige McCullers_. With slight trepidation at not knowing what sort of response to expect from the other girl, but strangely happy by how quickly she'd replied, Emily opened the text.

_Hey Emily. My head's good, thanks so much for asking. I'm looking forward to swimming too, but hope you're ready to have your butt kicked?;-) P._

A smile spread across Emily's face as she found herself pleasantly surprised by the red-head's witty remark.

_We'll see won't we? You'll probably be a bit rusty after slacking for a day, but I'll try to go easy on you ;-) E._

She text back, smiling as she pictured Paige laughing, her head dropping shyly, whilst reading the message. She thought about Paige laughing earlier that day, as she'd tried to help Emily drag herself up off the floor. It had lit up her whole face as the smile had reached her eyes, making her look so much more beautiful than Emily had remembered, than perhaps she'd ever noticed before. _Yet she is beautiful,_ Emily thought, thinking of the other girl's deep brown eyes and – of course – their _intensity_. The way she captured Emily's gaze directly within her own for even just a few moments, made Emily's head spin even now, just imagining it. Her phone buzzed gently with a reply:

_Don't hold back on my account, we don't want you using that as an excuse now do we? Loser shouts coffee? P._

Grinning, she fired off a reply. _You're on McCullers :-) E. _

Admitting defeat on the homework front for now, she pulled herself off the bed to put on some music, hoping a relocation to her window seat might prove fruitful in revving her brain into gear. Yet the dreamy, jangly guitar pop of Real Estate only served to fuel her distraction. Hearing the opening chords of _Pool Swimmers, _she smiled at the aptness of the song's title. As her mind continued to return again and again to the red-headed girl, she wondered at her potential to surprise Emily further and felt a fluttering buzz of anticipation, _excitement_, at the thought of seeing her again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you so kindly to _Whoopsidaisies, Photogirl21 and Me A Genius_ for your lovely and extremely generous review comments on the story so far.**

**All reviews/questions/suggestions are more than welcome. :)**

**Thank you so much for taking the time to read!**

* * *

Glancing again at the classroom wall clock, Paige seemed certain the hands remained interminably stuck in the same place as when she last checked. Why did time – supposedly a universally accurate, atomic measurement – feel positively stretched out _only_ during those instances when you wanted things to move along; yet so brief for the moments in which you longed to bask in every second?

The strange thing was that she'd normally enjoy the languid pace of last period History, it came as almost a respite at the end of a busy day, being one of those quiet classes where the teacher would often opt to play an old black and white documentary or some slides, recognising that most people's brain cells were not equipped to deal with any more than that by this time of day. However, today she felt restless and twitchy, unable to sit at peace for any length of time without clock-watching every few seconds whilst absently gnawing on a pencil end or voraciously rattling a pen between her fingers. By this point her palms were starting to sweat. _Pull it together Paige. It's just swim training. _

Yet she knew the nerves and anticipation weren't over swimming. This would be the first time she'd ever spent any real time with Emily beyond swimming with at least a dozen other people in the team. During those times they exchanged words when necessary, but had never truly engaged in a conversation - not until yesterday. Even then, the circumstances had been odd, to say the least. Emily had probably only approached seeking an explanation for her peculiar visit the previous night.

When she had received Emily's text last night it wasn't a surprise. She had been fully expecting the other girl to text and cancel their arrangement. What _was_ a surprise however, was opening the message to discover Emily _wasn't _reneging on their plans, but was texting to confirm them. In fact she had text to enquire how Paige was feeling. The emotion she had experienced when sitting next to Emily by the poolside earlier that day had come flooding back, the one that whispered in hushed tones only, for fear it might all be delusion; that _Emily Fields gives a damn about you._ It felt like stepping out of the cold shade into warm sunlight. Why did it feel so wonderful to step even remotely into this girl's world?

_Because_…

She knew the answer. She _knew_. Since yesterday she had been unable to push back down the thought which had arisen in the car. Like a buoy in the ocean it bobbed around the surface of her mind now, incapable of being sunk, not even with the weight of her determination to make it untrue. Today would be a test. In this new found spirit of brave honesty with herself, she would see how far she could take it, exactly _how_ honest she could be with herself when confronted with the deluge of confusing emotion Emily induced. Because fighting _this_ hard against her own thoughts and feelings had become utterly exhausting. Something had to give. _Had given_, in fact.

She knew something had changed since the time she first heard the rumours. Then she had witnessed it for herself; Emily holding hands with Maya St. Germain. At that moment, something held tightly coiled inside her had begun to come unsprung, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't wind it back.

Her thoughts were cut short by the bell, the signal for which she had been impatiently awaiting now catching her by surprise. _Oh god_. Her stomach flipped, realising that the time to prepare herself mentally was over. Tossing everything hurriedly into her bag she cursed herself for being slowed down. She wanted to at least get to the natatorium first, it would make her feel less stressed to be there before Emily. Rushing as best she could against an endless flow of students, mostly moving in the opposite direction, she finally reached the natatorium doors and welcomed the suddenly quiet and warm, chlorine-scented refuge behind them. Heading for the locker room, she breathed an audible sigh of relief to see that it was empty and sat down on the bench for a second to compose herself_. It's just swim training. I've done this a million times before. _Having slowed the rapid thrumming of her heart, she opened her locker and began to change.

* * *

Emily walked to the natatorium, feeling guilty having left Spencer with a vague and somewhat unconvincing excuse as to why she was opting for extra swim training on a Friday afternoon over her friend's invitation to the Grille. She hadn't told anyone about Paige turning up at her door that night. It hadn't felt right somehow, and given her friends' animosity towards the girl since her homophobic dig and in particular, the dunking incident, she had found it difficult to find a way to explain why she was now actively choosing to spend time with her. Until she understood the situation herself - until she could reason with the other girls exactly _why_ Paige should be vindicated of her previous behaviour, without betraying her confidence, she wanted to keep things to herself and had become strangely protective of the red-head against the other girls' potentially harsh judgement.

Her gathering curiosity of Paige had persisted into the new day and seeing the girl unexpectedly that morning had only served to pique this. She had awoken feeling brighter than for some time, and had headed to school a little earlier to drop her swimming gear off at her locker. On her way past the gym rooms she had been surprised to notice Paige through the door's glass window, running vigorously on one of the treadmills. Smiling, she had walked over to knock on the glass and wave, yet as she moved closer, something stopped her doing so and instead, she had simply stared. She could now see that Paige was wearing earphones, but more than that, the other girl was so utterly absorbed in what she was doing, so unflinchingly focused and _in the zone _that Emily could quite possibly have been doing somersaults at the door and she was sure Paige wouldn't have looked over. It seemed almost sacrilege to disturb her. Yet for a few minutes Emily was transfixed, unable to tear her eyes away. The girl was physically very fit, running at a strong pace and not letting up for a second; the clear sheen of sweat glistening over her toned flesh. Tendrils of her auburn hair escaped the scrupulous grasp of clips to fall around the exposed nape of her neck, darkened by the perspiration there. She breathed heavily, the exertion forcing her to pant extended exhalations at controlled intervals.

For a moment, Emily found it hard to swallow. She eventually backed away from the door and with one last look to Paige, left the sports block, taking a door leading to the outdoor respite area and relishing the cool air awaiting her there.

For the rest of the school day she had remained somewhat distracted, forcing her friends to enquire about her mental preoccupation on more than one occasion. Now, heading to meet Paige at the swimming pool, she finally felt focused for the first time all day, a strange mixture of calmness, knowing she would soon be in the water where she felt at home, and that strange, building sense of anticipation which had begun last night.

Stepping into the locker room she noticed the other girl's bag already on the bench and could hear the running water of the showers. Dropping her bag by her locker, she walked to the shower room to alert the other girl to her presence.

"Paige, hi…" she ducked her head around the corner and waved to the red-head who had finished showering and was now walking toward her with a towel wrapped around her swimsuit.

"Hey Emily" Paige smiled warmly, with what Emily noticed to be the slightest trace of a blush across her cheeks. She looked as though she were searching for words before adding "Thanks for coming."

Emily grinned before quipping "Ah don't thank me, remember, I'm only here to earn that free coffee you'll be paying for."

Paige laughed, seeming to relax a little and cocked one eyebrow playfully, "Oh really? You may end up disappointed then. I hope you've brought your purse?"

"Ha ha. We'll see, we'll see." Emily loved this teasing banter which had commenced between them, it felt as though they had never known any other way, it sparked so naturally. She stood looking at the girl for a moment, her wet, red hair swept off her face, a faintly yellow bruising now spreading over the brow bone beneath the white stitches at her eye. A vision from days earlier, of Paige standing at her door in the cold rain, unexpectedly filled her mind. She suddenly wanted to wrap her arms around that girl at her door. Wanted to keep her from leaving and hurting herself. Her eyes couldn't help but fall to the girl's legs, where the angry red grazing of her bike incident attracted one's focus, against the otherwise creamy pale skin there. The wounds looked raw and painful. Again a feeling came over her, of wanting to keep the girl from harm. Why did she feel such protectiveness for this girl she barely knew?

Raising her eyes again she realised Paige had caught her line of vision. The girl averted her eyes, as though ashamed, misinterpreting Emily's concerned gaze as judging.

"I should…umm…head out to get warmed up…" she stammered nervously, before turning and walking out to the pool, leaving Emily silently kicking herself.

"Paige…" She called out after her. The girl looked back expectedly, Emily realising she had nothing in mind to actually say, but desperate to alleviate the obvious discomfort she'd induced.

"I'll see you out there in a minute." She grinned at the red-head, searching for a signal. _There it is_. She watched the other girl's lips move into a reflection of her own affectionate smile, and felt the instant relief and pleasure it brought to feel she could induce such a change in her. Butterflies filled her stomach.

"Okay" Paige replied, continuing to the poolside, whilst Emily hastened to get herself into swimming gear and showered.

Walking to the pool she watched as Paige had already commenced laps. She had always admired her teammate's swimming technique; an undeniable powerhouse, yet she moved through the water with refinement and grace, as though born to do so. It was something quite beautiful to observe. As Paige resurfaced to greet her, Emily clapped half-teasingly. "Not bad McCullers, a little sloppy around the edges from lack of practise, you'll need to tighten it up if you want to compete with this" she winked, pulling her goggles over her eyes and diving in. Paige laughed at Emily's mock bravado and pushed off from the wall, following through the water in a bid to catch up. For some time they swam like this, in almost synchronicity, lost in the world they shared and understood like no other, where the mind allowed no space for life's endless distractions, no place for identity or ego, but where they simply focused on each stroke, each breath taken and became one with the water engaging their senses.

Finally it was Emily who gave up first, reluctantly so, but recognising her body's limit. Sliding her goggles up, she struggled to catch a breath as she spoke.

"Damn it, I guess this means I'm paying?" she laughed.

Paige broke into a grin as she jokingly shrugged her shoulders and held her hands out, "Rules are rules Fields."

"Seriously though, you are a _machine_" Emily replied with genuine admiration in her voice, remembering her glimpse of Paige in the gym that morning. As the red-head lifted her goggles, Emily took a sharp inhalation, finding herself staring directly into those intense, brown eyes. Paige giggled at her remark and Emily watched as the laughter reached her eyes, the edges crinkling and a brightness dancing within her dark orbs. She felt heady, and somewhere within the recesses of her brain she knew she was staring at the girl, knew she should look away now, yet couldn't bring herself to. Not while Paige held her gaze. It could only have been seconds, yet the moment seemed expansive. They were close now in the water and Emily felt her pulse, racing as the other girl's chest rose and fell rapidly, her breathing ragged from exertion. _Oh god, what am I doing?_

She forcibly looked away, feeling flustered by the perplexity of her body's reactions recently. She wanted to be the girl's friend, not freak her out. Paige needed a friend, and Paige certainly wasn't gay -her feelings on that had been made clear - so Emily couldn't understand why her senses seemed increasingly intent on undermining her.

"There's a little place I know just about a block from here?" Paige spoke, interrupting her thoughts.

"Hmm?" Emily replied, not following.

"For coffee?" Paige said. "That is, if you still want to…? I mean I was just joking about you paying of course or if you need to get home that's…"

"No. Coffee is definitely…great. Coffee is _needed_." Emily emphasised with a grin, before confirming, "On me."

As both pulled themselves out of the water and headed back towards the locker rooms, Emily spoke again. "In fact…" she paused, before adding "I'm actually _really_ hungry. Would you like to get a bite to eat with me?"

Paige turned to her as they walked, now ensconced in a huge white, fluffy towel. "I'm starving too! I'd _really_ like that."

From the corner of her eye Emily could see Paige beaming, and betraying all attempts to control it, her whole body seemed to sing, butterflies returning to her stomach, at the thought of spending more time in this girl's company.


End file.
